Oklahoma Bureau of Narcotics arrested former Oklahoma State basketball coach Sean Sutton for illegally obtaining prescription drugs from two women he met in rehab. I’m guessing rehab didn’t take, but a least he was able to network.
Sutton is apparently a fan of Oxycontin, Adderral, Clonazepam and Taylor Swift. You have to be on drugs to truly enjoy her music.
Because of the perks of fame and wealth, he was released on a $10,000 bond, but only on the condition he enter rehab since that worked so well the first time. If that had been us, we’d be in jail cells going through withdrawals.
If Sutton should leave rehab and pop up in your neighborhood, you’d probably like to know. Here are some warning signs to watch out for:
10. The nice man playing basketball with your children scores less than John Edwards.
9. Third time this week you spot someone walking on power lines.
8. You find a handwritten flier on your door about something called ‘Camp Oxy-Swap.’
7. OSU Basketball reaches the Final Four.
6. Someone on your street is driving a new Toyota.
5. The newest restriction of what Tulsa Police won’t respond to begins with “In the case of a Sutton…”
4. While watching the evening news, your child yells, “That’s the man I gave your pills to!”
3. Basketball flies through glass storm door with a prescription attached to the ball.
2. Man who asked to use your restroom offers $20,000 in return.
1. The elderly man on the corner who’s wearing a trench coat is not flashing children.
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