Mundane was the life I lived when I had my first joint. Taking pleasure in short-lived fantasies, same old intoxications, madness and everything that I used to call life. Untouched by peer pressure, yet apprehensive of anything new. Change. Being just human. The colors that were, faded day by day. The world slowly became repetitive. Turning around on its own axis as it rotated around the sun, every day, every hour, every minute, every second. A mechanical slave. No chance of escape. Revolving, slowly, repetitively. Every day.
That was when I had my first J. When my world had its back turned to the sun. I shut the door to the rotation, the repetition. Sick of the calm, I waited for the storm. I shut the door.
They say your world seems lighter.
Life was too clear. The light wasn’t dim enough. The fog filled up the space and my eyes relaxed. Was I ready for a new world? Tonight. New meaning? The vibe pulsated within my body as the smoke burnt my throat, taking shelter in my lungs.
An idle mind is the devil’s workshop; then what is a stoned mind?
A minute passed, maybe two. Or three?
Round 2. Another few puffs.
It was easier now. I could take it in more easily than before. The world was slower, slowing down until it stopped spinning. I opened my eyes, and the world ran to greet me.
They say it plays with your mind.
Wow! My body didn’t seem to belong to me, and the voice in my head was strange. It wasn’t me speaking. Or was it? Is this me? Then who was that voice that spoke to me all these years? The one that I always assumed to be my conscience. Was that the real stranger?
The pandemonium of thoughts began rushing into my head and blocking all pathways like something which rushes into something else and blocks all pathways. I can’t think of a good metaphor, frankly because I’m a little high right now and I can’t be bothered, but feel free to use your imagination. Please.
I was in my better place. I call it better, because I used to call another state a good place, and this is miles beyond. So there I am, enjoying the view, enjoying the conversation in the head, the thoughts and the very intriguing out of body experience. Listening to the voices in my head, made me realize I’m quite an interesting chap.
Now I had no control. I was just a leaf caught in the evening breeze. Fluttering, shimmering. A wave in the ocean, licking the sand, rippling away. Serenity and inner peace. These feelings make me wonder why this is illegal. The hippie in me said that weed would bring peace and love to the world. Goddamn faggot of a hippie. I shut him up. My head started bobbing to the smooth beat. Aqueous Transmission. Sending transmissions to outer space.
They say it’s a gateway drug.
The world came unglued. Solitary company and solitary independence. Just the way I like it. I found a new world within. A world which I will never deny from this moment on. A world to hide away, to escape the rotation, the repetition. A world with a less blinding, less scorching supernova. A world without deity where your thoughts are the only form of divination and you control them. A world which can be enjoyed, which is the best kind in case you didn’t know.
They say it’s not addictive.
A few years later, and here I am, a regular visitor to Supernova Land. Where the rides are free and thrills are infinite. Things have changed. I have put myself to the test. Failed first, then reached success. I have realized the potential of the person I am, stoned. The way my mind performs best when I am fighting gravity. The numbness to all things that don’t matter. Yes, things have changed for me; for the good, although some might disagree superficially.
How many more doors exist within? How many voices can I awaken? How many strangers would take shelter inside my mind? The ladder has more rungs left to climb. The city beneath me looks quiet, still, almost innocent. The way the world sees me through the looking glass into my soul. The glass which won’t reveal the conflict within. The way the world sees me, quiet, still and innocent.
They say it’s a gateway drug.
Damn right it is.
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